I’ve been writing for a long time, not just since I decided to actually publish a book. I’ve been writing as long as I can remember.
It started as a child, with the best friend I’ve had since I was two, imagining stories together where we shared the ideas, she built them out, and I illustrated them. It continued in my journaling throughout most of my life, so many private thoughts put onto paper, not all of which stayed private. Now I write for an organization, mainly, and only get to write for myself in the off time I so rarely get.
With so many ideas and so little time, I began many books that I didn’t finish. I had many ideas that I couldn’t get to. Some cases were unfortunate, because someone else got there first or because they came true. The world could have used the tales back when they were still fictitious and preventable, instead of the reality we are staring down.
The thing about writing is that you have to feel motivated and inspired to do it. I can’t sit down for 10 hours straight and plug away at technical details. I need some creativity thrown in there to stay sane. I feel more than one emotion a day, and for a full book, need a pretty consistent set of emotions for months at a time. The problem is that the motivation changes constantly and there is far too much that needs to be written. If inspiration changes, it is hard to keep up with everything there is to be done.
What happens when you feel your calling pulling you in so many directions? Right now I have the story I know I should tell the world, put on hold for the story I know I can give the world right away. Those are inspirational, positive, and necessary. But lately, all I feel inside me is a story I will likely share on a distant day, though it is only motivated by anger and rage and pain.
I try daily to work on the prepared inspirational story, which is due to publish in three weeks, but I can’t honestly always force myself to see it when there is so much working against me. How do you write a story about the light when all you face is the darkness?
Summer 20XX is about making the choice to laugh instead of cry. So I edit and promote, and pray that this story has the power to pull me back into the positive. I need that positive. Unfortunately, that is not always the world we live in. I believe the world needs that positive, and I hope that I can do my small part to transform it.
And so the first message I will issue is one of joy, of finding reason to laugh in the face of challenge, but I want readers to know that fighting the pain of this world is not just an uplifting story to leave them with a good feeling, but a constant battle, even for me. It is something we all have to choose every day, most especially when it is not an easy choice.
That is how we spend our humanity, our entire life, captured in a never-ending choice of whether to dwell on the good or the bad. I hope your battles are not so tough and that you find joy even in dark places.